Trump’s Presidents’ Day Speech

What follows is a transcript of the President’s planned remarks for the 2017 Presidents’ Day celebrations. I am merely the messenger; the “facts” are all the President’s … Welcome everyone. Thanks for coming. We had an amazing victory. A truly great victory. More like an annihilation, really. We had great crowds, I mean, spectacular crowds…

What On Earth Are We Doing?

I am high above you right now, looking down. I see one world. Its raging oceans are sheets of glass, erratically molded around the globe. Its highest mountain ranges but crumpled pieces of paper, imprecisely flattened. Its most hostile deserts are as forbidding as a pristine beach on a late summer evening. Its dark, impenetrable…